Just fell off a train. Bad.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
