I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Blood and glitter go together right?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize