I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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