I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
