Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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