she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
