its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
