look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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