she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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