As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
