Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
