that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
