Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
