these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
