JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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