Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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