I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
did you just send me my own nude
It's shark week go big or go home
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
