You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
