I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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