he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
