ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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