U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
