That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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