You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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