His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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