He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
we should paint friendship bongs
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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