i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
