# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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