Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
