so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
