that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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