oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
