i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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