i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
