TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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