your thong is hanging out like whoa
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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