So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
