i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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