If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
