i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
