do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
