Sry I called you an 8
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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