Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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