I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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