You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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