Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
