Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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