Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
