Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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