Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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