I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
