i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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