somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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