i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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