Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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