i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
