Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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