i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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