To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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