I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
