How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
