I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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