So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
