she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
